Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Broken Bones Make A Broken Heart

                                 (Not my picture, just a picture of Kelly (Left) and me (Right) fighting.

I'd rather die than be permanently injured.

I've been told that I need to take a break, let it heal, back off, take it easy.

The only time I'm okay with slowing down is when I know that it will prevent further injury and allow me to keep going.
Skepticism fills my head when people tell me to stop, as there are only a couple of people I know who push themselves as hard as I do.
I will never stop doing what makes me happy to be alive.
I've taken a break from things that are physically excruciating, (due to my broken foot, such as rock climbing) and I regret it everyday. It hurts when I think about how I've lost every bit of conditioning and special muscles I built up training to be better at my chosen skills. When I can climb again, for instance, I'll be starting at ground zero. For a third time.

"Never give up on what you can't go a day without thinking about"

Often, I feel the desire to play soccer, go running, play basketball, tennis, rugby, the list goes on, and I cry when I realize that I can't. I go to chiropractors, doctors, acupuncturists, specialists, and my heart is broken every time they end up referring me to yet another person because they cannot help me.

I am very happy, but if I cannot ride my motorcycle, play sports, fence, climb, run, do what I absolutely love, I do not know how I will find happiness again.

That is my only fear. Not a fear of death, but a fear of not being able to live..

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