Sunday, December 14, 2014

Manifestation Station

I've put together written lists and ideals in the past about what I see as my ideal (human*) life partner, but I've never done a full vision board with pictures and the like. So, I'mma gonna do it here.
*I specify human, as a friend of mine did a full vision board and ended up getting the dog of her dreams.

By the way, I don't own a single one of these pictures. Just pulling them from the web to use for the vision board.

A person, male or female, over 18, under 25 years my senior. Athletic, active, happy, excitable, jovial.

Similar interests as me. Someone who loves to ride and work on motorcycles. Someone who loves to ride and work with horses. A person who loves fencing, Loves to create. Loves to explore. Loves to learn.
The person I believe I could be happiest with would be a kind, adventurous, intelligent human who supports my activities, and who's activities they will share with me, teach me, and I can support. I love doing things together.

I want someone who has an exceptional set of skills and a wide variety of interests. "Don't lead, as I may not follow. Don't follow, as I may not lead. Walk beside me, and be my friend."
I want someone who is independent, and wants to walk their own path and live their own life, parallel to mine. We can support each other, teach each other, help each other as needed, but he or she is not guiding me along, and I am not guiding them. Neither of us should have to drag the other through life. I want to be with someone who is intrinsically motivated. Someone who is financially independent. Someone who is okay with me being independent. Someone who will allow me to have freedom. Someone who lives without jealousy.
I'm looking for a man or a woman who I can grow with. I want us to be on a similar level. I want to teach them, and for them to teach me, but for us to be close enough that neither feel dragged down.

I want someone who is of equal or greater intelligence than me, and who is always seeking knowledge. Always wanting to expand.
I need to have a partner that will not insult me, put me down, or abuse me in any form or fashion. Abuse is 100% unacceptable, from me or from them.

I have to find my partner drop-dead gorgeous, and I need my partner to feel the same for me. A partner who is highly sexual, roughly similar in their sexual drive as me. A partner has to have similar sex interests as me, interested in exploring outside of the norm as well as staying close to fairly normal sex-play.

They must have a similar and compatible music taste as me. I want someone who will send me silly songs that remind them of me. I need them to enjoy it when I send songs to them. I want someone who sends me Girl You Want by Devo, and INXS's song Need You Tonight.

My partner must be comfortable and happy in their own skin. Confident, relaxed, joyous.

They have to want to kiss me, hold me, and physically convey affection whether in public or private. I want a partner who could and would have sex with me in public (probably at an event that has a safe zone to do that in, like a burner event, private camp out with friends, orgy party, swingers group, etc) and who would be happy to go skinny dipping.
I need a person without limits, or at least a person who wants to push their limits. A person who believes in the kind of freedom that has two conditions: as long as it does not hurt others, and does not infringe on anyone else's freedom, then it could be explored. For example, I want to be with a partner who would find enjoyment in running through a festival wearing nothing but body paint and singing songs from The Labyrinth to strangers, but on the flipside would never, ever, be sexual towards a child or harm another human without their consent, just to satisfy their own sadistic interests. I want to be with someone who thinks of others, is not selfish, but also strong enough to say no. Someone who's self-worth is so high that they will not hurt themselves, even if it is for the benefit of someone else.

My partner would have to be someone who will dance with me. Anytime. Anywhere. Doesn't matter how good they are, but they must be excited about breaking down freestyle at a moments notice. With or without music. Ballroom, ballet, bellydance, hiphop, jazz, blues, modern, rave, all forms of dance are awesome.

I want someone who will get down and dirty with me in the shop. Whether it's the motorcycle shop, car repair, armor making shop, blacksmith's forge, carpenters studio, special effects lab, pyrotechnics lab, what have you, they gotta want to make things and we gotta be able to chat about it. I can't describe how happy I would be to be able to send my lover a picture of some carburetors I've been taking apart, to get a pic back of some fabulous thing they've been fiddling with. A severed hand made out of silicone, a old hot rod's engine, a new set of metal elbows they just finished hardening, an explosive they put together to blast a tree stump, whateva. Just has to be something.

They must want to take care of themselves. Someone who's active, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink heavily, only drug they do is psychedelics, eats a mostly healthy diet, eats lots of fruits and vegetables, not addicted to anything, not interested in pot. Someone who uses eastern medicine and herbs as much as possible, and only goes to our western doctors when absolutely necessary.

The partner I could be with would not desire to have children. If the relationship grew, and I become older and change my mind, then that limit may change, but currently I believe that I will not have or desire to have kids.

What I love: Passion. Happiness. Similarities in interests. Athletic inclinations. Independence. Kindness. Love of learning. Questioning information. Utilization of scientific method. Talent. Touch. Intelligence.
What I like: Lots of sex. Creativity. Romance. The ability to create/make things.
What I dislike: Owning a dog. Shyness. Stubbornness. Pot use.
What I can't deal with: Laziness. Sedentary. Abuse in any form. Addiction. Rudeness. Selfishness. Racism. Sexism. Unwillingness to expand ones horizon/grow/learn. Unwillingness to listen.

I receive and express love mostly through touch. My partner would have to be willing to be touched, as well as willing to touch me frequently.

That can mean cuddling, holding hands, roughhousing, kissing, bumping shoulders, sex, close dancing, etc.

Honesty is extremely important to me. My partner would need to be willing to tell me if something bothers them or not, and on the opposite end would need to not lie to me or others. White lies, like telling me you're sick instead of the truth that you simply don't want to come, are totally lame. I will always work hard to never do that to my lover, and I'd hope that they would strive to never lie to me.

I want someone who's strong, kind, holds self worth above all, and holds freedom and learning as something for life to revolve around. Someone who loves with a fiery passion. Someone who can relax and let the moment be.


Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Smiling at Strangers

I've done my best to open my heart. There are so many opportunities in a day to make someone else's day, I can't help but look for those moments and execute them every chance I get. This is my goal, and as I discover how I can spread love, I run into green lights as well as road bumps.
It used to be that (at every reasonable opportunity) I would smile at all strangers. 
Recently, I feel like I've been broken of this. Everyone deserves love, light, and happiness, but some people have no boundaries and don't understand that a smile, a hug, or a complement is not an invitation to take advantage of the giver. Someone freely gives, others freely receive, and happiness is generated. Or so I thought. 

People have responded in many different ways when I smile at them. Some people have responded aggressively by honking, yelling, or swerving their cars at me. Some push it too far, thinking smiling means sex. Some get suspicious, thinking there is something I want from them, and that is why I am expressing kindness towards them. All of these reactions seem inappropriate to me, but that doesn't make them invalid. These people are reacting to what they think the hidden message behind the smile is, instead of being present and accepting.

It's hard for me to continue to smile at strangers now, because I am having a hard time being present myself and I fear an inappropriate reaction from the receiver(s). What I'm working on is setting up an energetic 'tone' to my presence, so I can freely give love with no expectations and not invite negative responses.
These are my opinions and hypotheses, feel free to leave yours on the comments below.